“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”
Anaïs Nin

Saturday, September 24, 2016


bila aku tak faham tentang cinta dan memberontak marah kerananya, 
hanya kerana aku ingin merasa apa secebis rasa cinta itu semula.
sebab aku mula membenci perkataan itu, seolah hipokrisi, 
hanya duniawi tanpa punya tujuan ukhrawi.

aku cukup benci dengan jiwa perempuan yang mudah terusik.
mudah sangat muncul jiwa yang menyinta kerana ia adalah fitrah kita,
wujud pula harapan dan impian, tapi kita lupa itu adalah mainan syaitan.
tapi jiwa perempuan itulah jiwa aku.

cukuplah dengan kata manisan yang jijik itu.
cukuplah, perasaan, perasan, yang menyakitkan.

sungguh aku makin benci dengan mainan jiwa ini.
atau mungkin sebenarnya api marah, benci, dan memberontak ini,
hanyalah mainan jiwa  yang sepi dan takut disakiti.

we hope that we live in a sweet dreams tho we know how a nightmare can reality be. false hope.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016


To keep hold to your principle is never an easy task.

Everyday, every time, you have to be constantly reminded the underlying reason for that decision, and never stop hoping, and praying things won't go wrong for such decision you take.

Inhale. Remember that your fate is written, but still you have to work for it.
Remember that things will be put in place, and it is just a matter of time.

You do feel scared, at times, when you see some people goes wrong for such decision and you start questioning yourself.

It's a faith that you have to hold, put your self in God's hand, and don't stop praying for the best.

Let's not predict for tomorrow and live for today.

Sunday, September 4, 2016


I know at times, we thought of how wonderful other's life is. We keep complaining and feel pity of ourselves, "what am I doing here?" "why am I choosing this path?" "why I can't be like them?"

It's totally normal. I feel that, too. Sometimes I do question myself if I've made the right decision, so again and again I have to remind myself there will be the reasons behind everything happened.

I do feel down, at times. I wonder why I can't be good as some of my friends. But hey, there are things that you good at and there are things that you're not!

While I was busy trying to achieve what my friend has achieved, I forgot to focus on myself. Life is not a competition with others. It is a competition with yourself, how you have to work hard to become better than yesterday, and prepare for a tougher tomorrow.

If only it is all about the competition, you are losing, badly. You'll never satisfied with what you have because there is always somebody better than you.

 You never know how much some people wishing to be like you, to be as strong as you or as smart as you. You'll never know. On the other side, you'll feel confused on why they are wishing to have your life when you know it is not as good as it seems.

Tell you what, nobody's life is perfect but that's what make a life as it is. People are like puzzles, our flaws maybe someone's strength, and it is our job to complete those puzzles, to help each other to become better.

We shouldn't be achieving something because someone achieved it, (or being kiasu) but it's because you want it yourself, you just want to be a better you.

The thing that a person achieved may not be your happiness. And our definition of happiness and life is totally different. Some may wish to be a prime minister while some wanted to be the best teacher. Some are happy with a humble life while some are not. So let's focus on yourselves!

At the end of the day, it's our gratification of what we have and our own definition of life make us stop comparing, and live this life happily.