“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”
Anaïs Nin

Sunday, October 16, 2016


Everyday, every morning, or every minute, we tend to choose on what mask we should be wearing.
And I believe, that everyone is wearing a mask.

we know that everyone is having their own battle, and for that, we choose to keep it tou ourselves.
to stay strong, to not share the burden on us, because of afraid burdening others.

sometimes, we thought that we are the only one who have the problems.

"aku tengok kau relax je, macam tak ada problem"
"haha. mana ada, aku tak tunjuk je"

I salute this kind of people. I admire them secretly.

but at one point of time, you can't hold the burden alone. that hidden black page will suddenly flipped, and the darkness that you kept just revealed like other pages of your stories ; read by others.

Although we choose on how we want to be seen by others, we can't lie to ourselves.

It's at the darkest night that this depression haunt you like a monster in your wardrobe when we were kids.

Or it is in between the line of your happiness stories. It's like an invisible cloak which people couldn't see, but you know you are wearing it everywhere you are going.

But there will be a time that you couldn't hide it. You are just too tired of wearing the mask. You couldn't hide your tears behind it anymore.

At that point of time, express yourself. You just have to stop being strong and express your vunerability.

All those tears, pains, and fragility, only makes you more human, and stronger for other battle ahead.

Sometimes you just have to lose out and throw away your warrior suit, heal your wounds, and get another, better, stronger suit.

And for those who care, thanks. I appreciate it so much. Even a fighter has to enter a new battle with a healing wound and sore eyes. Haha.

Saturday, September 24, 2016


bila aku tak faham tentang cinta dan memberontak marah kerananya, 
hanya kerana aku ingin merasa apa secebis rasa cinta itu semula.
sebab aku mula membenci perkataan itu, seolah hipokrisi, 
hanya duniawi tanpa punya tujuan ukhrawi.

aku cukup benci dengan jiwa perempuan yang mudah terusik.
mudah sangat muncul jiwa yang menyinta kerana ia adalah fitrah kita,
wujud pula harapan dan impian, tapi kita lupa itu adalah mainan syaitan.
tapi jiwa perempuan itulah jiwa aku.

cukuplah dengan kata manisan yang jijik itu.
cukuplah, perasaan, perasan, yang menyakitkan.

sungguh aku makin benci dengan mainan jiwa ini.
atau mungkin sebenarnya api marah, benci, dan memberontak ini,
hanyalah mainan jiwa  yang sepi dan takut disakiti.

we hope that we live in a sweet dreams tho we know how a nightmare can reality be. false hope.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016


To keep hold to your principle is never an easy task.

Everyday, every time, you have to be constantly reminded the underlying reason for that decision, and never stop hoping, and praying things won't go wrong for such decision you take.

Inhale. Remember that your fate is written, but still you have to work for it.
Remember that things will be put in place, and it is just a matter of time.

You do feel scared, at times, when you see some people goes wrong for such decision and you start questioning yourself.

It's a faith that you have to hold, put your self in God's hand, and don't stop praying for the best.

Let's not predict for tomorrow and live for today.