Tuesday, May 24, 2016

i confessed.

and so i did..
i confessed to him, without alarm.
i felt like i just want to do it,  and yeah, i did.
it surely took a lot of guts to confess to your crush, i mean, of course.

i think i was mistaken by this feeling, i was just being totally comfortable having him around, and i realize the consequences of destroying this friendship after this event.

i realize that. but, i guess, i have to bear with this. i mean, it is surely a wake up call for me to move on

i dont really expect anything from him in return, all i wanted to do was to let it out from my chest, since i've been holding it for quite a time.

i dont think that we can be almost the same like before. that is quite sad, seriously, because he is my friend, whom i trust. this thing will surely make him awkward, and i think he wont giving me false hope by treating me the same like he did before.

gosh im so gonna miss our friendship. i hope it's not the end.

i dont know if our friends found out, i dont know why i recklessly jump to my decision,  i cant imagine if we ever meet again.

i didnt feel regret, until just now! lol. after 12 hours of  the event.

but yeah, let's forget about what happened, but i'll be totally understand if he won't treat me the same anymore.

sedih jugak.

since, it is quite hard for me to like someone. and i guess that's it.

but im totally happy because it didnt turn awkward drastically. i like the way he respond, like so chill, just like he is. someone who i respect. no harsh words, just the truth, which i prefer to hear. and even me, i felt a huge relief. and i dont feel sad of rejection, (i expect nothing from him, and can only expect worse) but only because of the friendship that maybe wont be the same anymore.

so tadaaa.

marsya buat rekod. first time aku confess. first time in my life. :)

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Little things

I put my headphones on and listening closely to the music.
It's a chilly night. The rain just stopped but I can still hear some drops on the rooftop.
I close my eyes, listening to every single guitar strings play in this song.
I listen to words by words, every single vibration of the instruments, and my feet move a bit, following the tempo of the music.
Both my hands are at the most comfortable position, and I cover myself with a comfy blanket.
I cant stop smiling, even when no one cant see it, I know I cant be any more happier enjoying this particular moment.
It's the littlest thing that sparks my mood.
Slowly imagining all the good things that will happen, or maybe something that is nice to dream of.
I see myself outside the boat house, enjoying the same song, in the same position, but only, this time, I cant afford to close my eyes mesmerizing the stars and chillness of the wind.
Or maybe, I sit by the sea, on the sandy beach, stargazing.
Or maybe, I'm in Norway, watching the colourful aurora with my loved ones.
And after awhile,I think about the good memories that I had, that we had, together.
Those teases, those jokes and laughter, those simple conversation, and I cant stop smiling.
I pray that someday, that we can make more memories together, maybe forever.
Enjoying every blessings together, even, until the hereafter.

Saturday, April 30, 2016


things don't go well just because (s)he is not the one who meant for you.
no matter how hard you try to convince yourself,
you've made the right choice,
it's the ego and the feelings that you have to put aside, knowing that you're wrong for all long.

tell me, it's hard to forget, and harder to move on.
sleep tight, wake up and everything's gone.